Caution, this page is for men only. women, you’ve been warned.
We are going to get really personal here, and I 100% speak from a position of been there/done that. How many times have you looked right down your body when you’re peeing, and can’t even see your manhood?
How many jokes have you made about your very large gut, and said “Hahaha, when you have a nice tool, you need to build a nice tool shed!” You mock yourself sometimes, but not very deep down, you’re depressed about it. You’re ashamed of it. You’re tired of it. Yet you don’t know what to do. You don’t have time to work out, you hate running, you love your beer, whiskey, or sweets, and you’re at a point in your life where you’ve either completely given up and given in, or you’re ready for a change.
Your body is the grand sum of all the decisions you make: from the foods on your plate and the drinks you consume, your training sessions in the gym, and every lifestyle choice you've made. If you haven't made great choices, forget the past, because what matters is now and the future. It's never too late.
Let’s address the elephant in the room
Perhaps this elephant is you. But I’m talking about the willpower, or won’t power. You will eat the cruddy food, you won’t give up your cold beer on a hot day.
Well, bubba, that’s your choice. It didn’t happen overnight. It began with a slow descent out of your youth. Maybe you went to college, maybe trade school, maybe you remained “healthy” until the day you got married, took on a career, or just entered adulthood. Something happened along the way worth noting. You adopted stress. No matter how you tried, stress still got you. A measure of coping is the food you consume. Perhaps you went for the dessert when you really didn’t need it. Maybe you started drinking just a bit more than usual. Regardless, a pound added itself to your body, maybe in your face, maybe your back fat, maybe your belly. Over time, you see the weight gain, and the next decisions sound like this: “Oh what the heck, I can have another piece of wedding cake. What does it matter? I’m already fat. This second piece won’t even be noticable!” Or “heck, I might as well get the milkshake that comes with the meal. I’m already fat, this milkshake won’t even show up.”
Like the cushion in your car or truck seat, in time it started to wear down, but you didn’t really notice it, until one day you sit in a vehicle like yours, but it’s new, and that seat sure feels different.
You gain a pound here and there, and before you know it, bammm…you have the “beer belly.” You can’t exercise this off. Not only do you not have time because you work as hard as you do, but your energy for cardio is nonexistent. You really can’t afford the gym because you have to pay for your kid’s braces. You’re ashamed to be in the gym because there are so many healthy people there, and you’ll feel out of place. You can build a 6-pack, but you’re still burying it under the fat stomach.
I love comparisons because I believe it helps us wrap our heads around some basic concepts. Growing body fat is a lot like your financial credit. You started out young, no credit, and the further you got into adulthood, perhaps you grew your personal debt more than you’d prefer. To pay it off, you have to work harder, spend less, and sacrifice the things you like for paying off the debts. And this takes time. The only silver bullets might be a lottery payday, a sudden windfall of some sort like an inheritance, or the worst: bankruptcy. Just like weight gain and loss, the only silver bullets to rapidly getting back to your skinny self include glp agonists like Wegovy or Ozempic (these have many side effects), getting sick and losing pounds because you’re simply not eating, or the worst: you die.
Let’s talk about the “shot.” This silver bullet may stave off your hunger to some degree, and you will see weight loss. However, the severe downside is that once you’ve started, you cannot stop, unless you drastically change your dietary intake. If you internet search, you’ll find the downsides like “Ozempic Butt” and more. This is much like winning the lottery. If you had nothing to begin with because you overspent your entire life, you’ll probably lose a sudden windfall just as quickly as you gained it. You need discipline, not a silver bullet. How many people do you personally know who had little, gained a lot fast, and went back to having little in a short amount of time? How many people do you know who were once fat, lost it all, looked great for a bit, then gained it back? How many did you know who once had nothing, fell into money, then went horribly into debt? Maybe they cheated on a spouse, lost their marriage, got remarried, and lost that spouse too because they didn’t change their ways.
I’ll never forget the sketch where a comedian spoke about cocaine. He was told cocaine is great because it enhances a person’s personality. The comedians’ response: “Yeah? So what if the person is a butthole?” If you don’t change your ways, you just enhance them.
Your Manhood
Ladies, if you’re reading this, stop. Go away. This isn’t for your eyes. Men, this is for you. Did you know you probably have a large penis? If you have a big gut, you don’t think you have a large penis because of a physics term known as scale. A half ton truck looks big next to a Toyota Prius. But next to an 18-wheeler, it looks pretty small. In scale to a big gut, a penis may seem very small. But lose the gut, and voila, just like magic, it grew. This is because you’ve adjusted the scale of your body. This is just like a shotglass with Rye Bourbon. Next to a 1.75L bottle, it looks small. All alone atop a bar, it looks pretty grand.
The day you find yourself wondering if your penis grew is the day you realize it’s been there all along, but you’ve scaled it down. I have this conversation frequently with other men–only for the reason of getting deep into their psyche and their hearts. Deep down, we hate our fat guts and man boobs. Deep down, we are ashamed. And not very deep down, we are depressed.
The only way to fix this is to gain control of yourself. How badly you wish to change is entirely a state of mind. Choose to put down the drink. Choose to bypass fast food. Choose to order something off a carnivore lifestyle menu at a restaurant.
There’s some humor, but there’s also pain.
Recently at a campground, I was speaking to a group of a dozen or so people who joined me for discussion about the carnivore life. As you can imagine, the majority of men in the group were large-bellied, with man boobs, and were over 60. As I delved into this topic of standing in the bathroom trying to locate your body parts to use the restroom, there were mostly giggles and smiles (reminiscent of elementary school–yes even when we get old, we still giggle at body part discussions)! One lady however was not giggling or smiling. She got very sad and said “Unfortunately I see your point, and it makes sense. But it pains me to hear because my husband used to get so angry about this. He would constantly say he just wished he could see his penis one more time. He died without ever seeing it again without a mirror.”
We all grew a little somber at this because while it’s all too real.
Then one of the women spoke up and talked about how her weight loss in keto allowed her to finally see beyond her own belly, and it was a magical moment for her that kept her going. It’s my belief that’s what it takes. We personally have to witness the power of regaining control of our lives, even if it’s as simple as seeing our body parts, buying smaller-size underwear, and then seeing that we are capable of getting back to where we once were.
Your motivation is the best!
If you struggled and worked your tail end off to pay off a debt, then you know how diligent you’ll be to preserve your financial freedom. If you washed your vehicle, you’ll be careful to avoid dirty mud puddles. If you spent hundreds of hours cultivating the perfect lawn, you’ll be careful to protect it from weeds. If you sacrificed to eat healthy foods and spend time in the gym, you likely appreciate the effort you put forward and you’ll be careful to not make bad decisions again. But if you don’t know the struggle, and you are finding yourself in fat debt to your health, you continue making decisions that harm you. The good news is your next decision is potentially your future healthy self. How do you eat the elephant in the room? One bite at a time.
It begins with adopting a new mindset which is one of “I can, I will, I’ve got this.” If you feel like wearing a rubber band around your wrist to snap when you need to remind yourself, then knock yourself out. If you need a Post-it note on your mirror at home or monitor at work, do it. If you need to join a food support group, by all means, find a social media group and begin discussions. I despise facebook, but there are many carnivore and keto groups you can join. Part of this mindset has to work much like an alcoholic approaches alcohol. You have to avoid it. Alcoholics don’t visit bars. They don’t drink light beers. They don’t do the things that will tempt them. Likewise, you trade your out to dinner beer for club soda with lime squeezed in. You don’t go to the bars with your friends. You bypass a fast food joint and go hungry. There’s no shame in letting your stomach gurgle for hunger. You fill your shopping cart with carnivore-worthy foods like eggs, butter, sugar free jerky, etc.
You make the decision that one day, you’re going to have a large penis again, and it’s entirely because of your willpower to uncover the tool, burn down the shed, and realize it’s storm and waterproof! Oh, and by the way, it will work better when you’ve restored your health because your testosterone will operate normally again. Only one way to find out…
Oh, and ladies, if you read this page despite my warnings, this applies to you in a very similar fashion. Your thighs and belly may bury your vagina. Your boobs may grow when you get fatter, and you may or may not like this. They may shrink when you lose weight, and you may not like this. But just the same, you can’t see your private parts without a mirror either, and all the same I just spoke of applies to you as well. I just have no personal experience with what you may or may not see. God gave me my men parts, not the women parts, and that’s what I speak to. I do hope that this brings to light something you may not be aware of and that you have a better understanding of something your man may never speak of to you.